Choose your words!!

The last couple of days, I've started to get really annoyed with loud people. I realize that at times, I can be loud. But some people are just always loud. And they are ALWAYS talking. And they laugh really loud with this fake laugh all the time. I'm pretty sure I'm about to go POSTAL!!

I'm realize that this is very judgmental and probably completely petty. And this may sound cheesy, but I've really tried to figure out what God might be teaching me in this situation. So I've been praying and here's where I'm at so far. Bottom line...I have no control over the actions or loudness of others. I can be encouraging and I can set an example. But in the end, we are all who we are. So instead of spending time and effort trying to "fix" those around me (which doesn't work anyway); I'm trying to focus on myself and my actions. How can I be a better person and even more an influential person?

It's a common misconception for me that if I act disapproving or angry at a situation...it'll change the situation. Donald Miller has written about a situation like this, so I'll paraphrase and steal his example. (Thanks D!) A guy at his church really annoyed him. Don thought he was immature and loud. So whenever that guy was around, Don would roll his eyes or make snotty comments, thinking that this might influence the guy to grow up a bit. Obviously, it doesn't usually work that way. It might work with a 3 year old and their parents, but not usually with your peers.

So eventually, Don gets convicted and instead of huffing and puffing over this kid, he started loving on him. He offered encouragement instead of sarcasm. He decided to look past the annoying behavior and see the person behind it. He spent time with him and showed him what maturity looks like. Don also loosened up a bit in the process. In the end, the two became good friends. Both became better and grew in the process.

So...back to my world, what do I do now? How can I encourage and influence people in a positive way? And more importantly, what attributes do I need to open up and be willing to change about me? (I'm cynical and sarcastic. That's a start.)

I've also learned that usually people who talk a lot, don't listen very well. They also usually talk a lot because they are trying to prove something or they are insecure about a situation. So in the process, they are thinking about themselves and what they're saying and they are not hearing the other person.

So I ask this question...How well do I listen? That'll be another blog. :)