January 1, 2008

So it's the new year. I was feeling very un-sentimental today...so I decided to do some cleaning. Which really just translates to, "I'm fed up with this mess and I'm throwing everything away!"

As I went through my room, I found lots of shopping bags and lots of receipts. Mind you, I haven't balanced my checkbook in years so the presence of receipts is just a symptom of being lazy...not organized. Apparently whatever I buy, whether it's shoes or purses or clothes, I usually just take it out of the bag and throw the bag on the floor. So I threw away at least 15 empty shoe boxes today. They were all under by bed and shoved by my desk. I'm such a slob!

The End.

I'm rubber, you're glue...

...is a load of crap. The fact is...words can hurt.

I've spent the better part of this weekend pushing and pulling through a conversation I had on Friday. Yesterday I was frustrated. I was embarassed. I was hurt. Today, I was just sad.

The details of what was said and who said what doesn't matter. A lot of times people say things they don't mean. It's hard to communicate how you really feel sometimes. And then when we try to we end up feeling a silly or we say things we wish we hadn't.

I would consider myself a pretty understanding person. I'm also an intuitive person. And in situations like this, what was actually communicated doesn't really bother me. It's the underlying emotions behind what was said. The conversation was simply a symptom of the real issue. And that is what is killing me right now. The truth is, I have absolutely no control in this situation.

Today was one of those days where I feel so incomplete. Today was a moment where I felt like if my circumstances were a little different, I would be happy. Today...I wished I was someone else.

And that stinks.



On another note, I had a MRI scan on Friday. It was a horrible 2 hour ordeal. I had to lay still for over an hour on this table as they pushed me into a big tube. Did I mention I'm claustrophobic? So many random thoughts during my time in the tunnel. I'll share those later. Pray my Dr calls me early in the week with the results. Thanks for your prayers.

Friday after Thanksgiving...no work for Mel!

I slept in till 9:30 am.

Got dressed at 5:30 pm.

And that's just because I didn't want the pizza delivery guy to see me in my PJ's. :) Thank you Papa Johns!

It's been a good day. Now I just need to get rid of this cold!

A quick snapshot of Mel....

It’s been a while since my last update. There are so many things I want to share. The last couple of months have been quite eventful. Here’s the short version in bullet points. I’ll probably have to explain more later on some of them. =)

• My best friend got married. It was the most beautiful experience of my life. I’ll definitely be blogging about that later.

• My car was broken in to. My laptop was stolen. I was PISSED.

• I got a phone call from a random person and my laptop was returned. It was over $300 to get my window fixed…but I’ve never been so humbled in my entire life. Another blog for this one.

• Work is going great. I’ve been really busy lately and I tend to work an extra hour or so each day. I love what I do. I love the people I work with.

• This is the company I work for. www.anode.com

• I leave my house at 7 am and I usually get home at 6:30 pm. I go to bed at 9. I’m not a huge fan of living so far away from my office.

• I feel like I don’t have a lot of time to myself. And I definitely don’t have a lot of time for friends. It’s lonely.

• Over the past two weeks I’ve had several blood tests, lab work, and a CT scan. I got a call from my doctor on Thursday. It’s been six months since my last round of tests. And there’s no improvement. So…she wants to do more tests. I have to do a MRI on my head.

• I get claustrophobic. So I really hate the idea of laying there and having my head stuck in a loud machine where I can’t move!

• I wake up at least once, sometimes twice, a night with horrible leg cramps. Sometimes it takes up to 20 minutes before they stop.

• It’s really cold in my room right now.

• It’s 7:30 am on Saturday. I’ve been up since 6:15. L

• As I’m typing this, a team of about 40 people are getting ready to board a plane to Haiti. This is the first November in 4 years that I will not be with that team.

• I really miss being a part of the ministry with Haiti. Something in my heart tells me that I’ll never go back.

• It amazes me how much time changes things.
  

• I love the smell of Clinique Happy Heart perfume.

• I’m hanging out with some of my best girl friends tonight. I see them maybe once every two months. I cherish them dearly.

I’m going to go scramble some eggs for breakfast now. I’ll write again soon. I promise. Happy Weekend!!

Sunday Afternoons...

When I think of Sunday afternoons, many things come to mind. There's the big lunch after church with friends and family. Football, nap time, maybe an afternoon movie. In the last couple of years, I would often kill some time for a bit and then end up at my favorite coffee shop in Nashville to hang out with friends or catch up on some reading. Sunday afternoons were always a time to relax, and prepare for the week ahead. Oh...and at 8pm, Desperate Housewives comes on. So really...there's a lot to look forward to!

Today...my alarm went off and as soon as I hit snooze I had a choice. Get up, get ready, go to church, and enjoy my day. Or...stay in bed a bit longer. I chose the later. I didn't sleep in long, but I did lay there and think about what this next week holds. I made a mental list of what I needed to do before Monday morning hits. I soon realized...there aren't enough hours in a day for me to do everything I needed to do. So I got up.

This past week has been quite eventful. Work was very busy. I worked late every night and tried to go in a bit early. My great uncle, who has lived next door to my parents for over 30 years, passed away on Thursday morning. He had been sick for a while and we all knew that his time was near. It was very peaceful and he was surrounded by family and friends who loved him. We had the funeral on Saturday and visitation on Friday. My Uncle Frank loved the Lord. He was in church every Sunday up until last week. Everyone who knew him, knew that He loved and served Jesus. What a legacy! It was so neat to watch my family and their friends come together to celebrate his life. Everyone kept talking about their old friends and how much they cherished them. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time with the family this weekend. It was so good.

This next week, I'll be able to rest a bit more. Work should be a good bit quieter this week. Actually, it'll be a lot quieter. So I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to be staying with my best friend for a couple of nights while her husband is out of town. It'll be really good to hang with her. I always feel rested and refreshed after spending time with her.

Just heard the dryer buzz, so I better go hang up my clothes and put in another load. Hopefully I'll start doing better at keeping up with this blog. There are several things that have been on my mind and in my heart that I want to share. Hopefully I'll get those out soon!

Please pray for the Wheelers....

Visit their blog.... http://www.thewheelerjourney.blogspot.com/

Chris and Lindsey have been in the process of adopting a little girl from Guatemala. It's been a really rough journey and yesterday they received some really devastating news. Their blog will tell you the whole story.

Be sure to send them some encouragement!

It's finally here!!!

I was so excited to see the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy last night! I think all of us were.

And then at the end of the show, the only thought in my mind was, "I've wasted an hour of my life."

SOOOO CHEESSY!!!

Was anyone else disappointed??